Let me tell you about registering for the baby shower. I know that on the surface it sounds like it would be really, really fun but it wasn't. It was scarry. It was yet another glaring reminder that I don't know very much about babies.
Shannon and I have talked about doing it for weeks. I begged her to take me to Babies -R-Us, but we kept putting it off. Finally I just put my foot down. Saturday morning was it. We put on comfortable clothes and headed to the store.
We walked up to the registration counter and announced our intent. A very helpful young girl named Christi (with an i) gave us the forms to fill out and pamphlet to read. (funny isn't it?...you don't have to do anything to make a baby, but if you want somebody to buy him a tube of Beaudrous Butt Paste you have to fill out a form.)
Christi (with an i) went over the forms, pamphlet and program at rapid fire speed. "You neeed to do this" or "Don't do that unless" she said several times. Myself, I was distracted by a tiny monkey suit hanging on a rack next to me. "I can't wait until this kid is older so I can dress him up in crazy outfits" I was thinking. Finally she handed us a scanner, a store map and a list of suggested items.
The very first aisle set the tone for the rest of the morning. Imagine me standing there, scanner in my hand, facing a giant wall of breast pumps and breast pump accessories. Shannon is standing behind me with the list of recommendations. "Okay" she said "We need a breast pump. Which one do you think would be good?" she asked. I know that between the two of us I am the one who has devoted more time to the study of womens' breasts, but my knowledge ends with practical application. I have always just been concerned with aesthetic value. "I have no idea" was my reply to that and to many questions to follow.
We meandered through the aisles talking, reading and scanning. Eventually we made our way back to Christi (with an i) and gave her our scanner back. Feeling successful I said to Shannon, "Let's get some lunch."
On the way to the restaurant Shannon noticed in the Babies-R-Us pamphlet all of the things that the store "automatically" puts into your registry. You know, just to be helpful. Needless to say, this morning we will be going over our selections on-line. So much for being done with registering.
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2 comments:
Okay Dan, I have once and for all determined we have a very similar typr of sarcactic humor. You make me laugh. I really don't thing a breast pump has anything to do with you, although you have to seem interested. I have kept up with all your blogs with the every now and then the input of my baby sister. I can't wait to hold my little "Max". I have been very amazed at my reaction to Shannon's pregnancy, but it coould't be better.
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